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  “I'll go! It’s a horrible idea, that I'm sure of, but how can I pass something like that up?” I said laughing at the thought of us strolling into WallyWhirled half-crazed on LSD. Did I really want to go, or was it just to spite Daniel? No, there was a definite desire to see where this would lead. What is it about WallyWhirled that attracts all the malcontents in this town? Somehow I always ended up in the damn place. Whether it be to steal more Dex or just to piss of the workers, it was just the place to be, for anybody who knows something about anything. Gary was down and so was Zach. It appeared we had enough altered minds to destroy a car, and more than enough of them to do WallyWhirled in.

  We escaped from the apartment and filed into Beth's car. She drove out onto the road, and were face with how badly it could end. She swerved all over the road in an attempt to dodge her hallucinations. The collective mood in the car became very tense very quickly as we demanded she drive better. Intense energy as we screamed as loud as we could while she failed to control the vehicle. Nobody had any restraint.

  “OH MY GOD!” Beth silenced the car, “What about the pills?!?”

  “WHAT?!?” Gary screamed, “WHAT PILLS?!” His energy was back to insane levels, but his towel was nowhere to be found.

  “Nothing! Never mind!” I said over the commotion. This did nothing to calm him down. He continued yelling about pills and death the entire way until we made it to our destination and we leapt from the car and praised the acid gods for letting us survive the horrible trip. It would seem I was on my way to becoming another lost soul, a mental handicap – another silent enabler of Daniel's demented religiosity.

  I led the group through the doors, but then Beth ran past me with Zach on her tail. Zach was chasing her adamantly, and it was then I noticed he was not wearing shoes or even socks. He had a look in his eyes as he chased her throughout the store – a look that much later in the years, if he survived long enough, would be recognized as a pedophile-rapist-murderer, ignored now only because of his youth. I them to chill out, but my warnings wet unheeded and they disappeared into the clothing racks, like ghosts of consumers past. Gary ran off to find a belt, and I followed at a fair distance, afraid to be associated with the lunatics. The Merry Pranksters would have been ashamed of me, but I reasoned that there had been many new laws and advancements in dealing with drug abusers. High-tech detection equipment installed on every street corner.

  I had lost all hope for Gary's self-control. He was pulling anything that resembled (and didn't resemble) a belt off the racks and shelves. Ties, belts, hats, cheap woolen coats were tossed to the ground as he laughed so deeply, so unashamedly it scared me. Zach was chasing Beth through the same area Gary was in now, making it a scene right out of the Spanish Inquisition. Good god, what does that mean?

  Normally I would not give a second thought to such behavior, in fact on most occasions I would be right there with them, but Daniel's spiritual words were crawling up my esophagus. Paranoia. I walked over to the sunglasses rack and grabbed a pair of gold-framed aviators. An upgrade, as the ones that gave its life to save mine was merely a black-framed model, not nearly as stark a contrast to the beholder. Nonetheless, a moment of silence for the brave and reflective soldier. I paid for my new sunglasses trying to ignore the spasmodic madness around me.

  “You guys are fucking ridiculous, you're gonna go to jail you crazy fuckers!” I yelled running out the exit.

  I sat on the bench outside and waited for the cops to carry them off so I could have a good laugh. Gary walked through the doors and sat with me, showing off his new belt with pride and a large grin on his face. Still laughing uncontrollably. Poor bastard might never stop. I was uncomfortable.

  “Great job! For a minute there I thought you were gonna grab a tie by mistake.”

  He looked confused but didn't say anything. It wasn't long before barefooted Zach chased Beth out the door to meet us, her squealing in a teasing manner. How long has this sick trip to WallyWhirled taken? Two? Three hours? We elected Gary to drive and the ride back home was much more pleasant. I made a mental note: Beth was to never again be trusted with the task of keeping us alive at high speeds.

  We told Dane and Daniel about WallyWhirled. They were uninterested, as usual, in our ramblings about another senseless journey. But I was distracted from Daniel and Dane's insensitive behavior by the Tetris game happening in my skull. The walls, the windows, the couch, the tables, and everything else were so horribly distorted and alive now – my thoughts stacking and disappearing leaving nothing to construct an appropriate insult

  It had been hours upon hours since we had ingested the mental poison. I didn't understand it, the trip was still very much alive in my head with no sign of alleviation. It was getting more and more intense by the second. Not long now till my mind caves in, I thought to myself.

  I may have been distracted by the drug, but nowhere near the level of mania Zach was experiencing. He was trying way too hard to get into Beth's pants, by now a trip-goal, and it became quite clear that this was not OK with her. Trip goals are misguided objectives one holds onto while knowledge and ego fades away, that if completed promises to solve the mental anguish being experienced. Daniel was not pleased. Zach responded by becoming more aggressive, grabbing her and trying to pull her inside himself.

  “Jesus Zach, control yourself, you horny fuck!” I commanded.

  Everyone was becoming very tense again. I could feel the room tighten up. Reds and yellows became more vibrant and spastic. Then everyone was yelling at him. Very serious now. Beth said she was leaving and did so in a hurry. Zach appeared lost. He no longer knew what to do with himself without a mind or a trip goal to hold onto. I saw the potential danger for everyone in the room..

  There are a few basic guidelines one must adhere to to avoid serious problems with extensive experiences in the world of dissociative and hallucinogenic drugs:

  10 Tripping Commandments

  1. One should never, NEVER, question their sexuality whilst tripping.

  2. One should never trip to ESCAPE their horrible reality – drink a beer instead.

  3. One should never trip with someone they're are trying to impress.

  4. Tripping with sober significant others is a bad idea.

  5. Never blow off important things to trip.

  6. Never make important decisions while coming up, tripping, or coming down.

  7. Don't drive while tripping.

  8. Don't trip in the general public with a high percentage of sober people.

  9. Don't talk to family members, employees, or police while tripping.

  10. Never care too much what people think whilst tripping.

  I have never broken the first commandment, even after breaking every other. It was a common thing for me to drink a bottle of Robotussin after an awful fight with my ex-girlfriend, Kristal, then invite a really cool chick to join in (with the intention of banging), deciding to pick college courses to take, then decide to invite Kristal over to watch, having to drive to pick Kristal up, while I was supposed to be at my sister's birthday party, and ending up downtown where a Christian organization was putting on a public gathering for christ, meeting up with my family there, all the while wondering desperately if anyone could tell I was fucked up or a fuck up. But I never wondered if I really just wanted a dick to rip my ass hole instead of that Taco Hell burrito. Nothing against that sort of thing, it's just not for me. It was becoming apparent, however, Zach was not handling this concept as well.

  Dane left to get himself more beer, and Gary shuffled off to his room to blast music. No one felt comfortable in the same room as this madman-in-heat. I regretted bringing him along. I should have known his mind filled with acid would snap over some girl like it had last time. I prayed he had snapped the first time due to the massive amount of alcohol he consumed along with the acid, but it appeared as though he was just too weak to handle LSD. Oh god, what’s next? What will he do now that there is no girl to molest?

  “Uh... so an
yway... how's your trip goin' james?” Daniel asked in an attempt to fix the nasty air.

  It didn't.

  “Pretty good, considering I almost got killed by a bunch of fags,” I said, “What about yours?”

  “Yeah, its alright, I feel pretty enlightened.”

  What the hell are you talking about? What does that even mean? You don't even fucking know.

  “Awesome sauce...”

  Then Zach who had been silent on the couch began to stir. Daniel was leaning against the back of the couch, and I watched Zach position himself behind him on the back of the couch, straddling him from behind.

  “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, PERVERT?!” I screamed just as Daniel noticed what was happening behind him.

  He spun around to find the freak looking up at him with dick-lips stretching across his face. He screamed something horrid and ran to my side. We looked at each other, confirming that he had actually had another man straddling him from behind. Yes Daniel, you were mounted by a spindly-spindle of a man and raped from behind.

  “Sit the fuck down Zach! Lay the fuck back down you freak!”

  He did not respond to me, just kept staring at us like some animal getting ready to devour. He was not able to process the language we were throwing at him.

  “I don't know what to do about this! How do you handle something like this?” Daniel said loudly.

  Gary burst into the room at the sound of Daniel's cries. Zach looked at Gary, stood up, and walked up to him. Gary commanded he back away and we explained he had just tried to rape Daniel's virgin anal cavity. Zach once again did not respond, but kept in constant mechanical movements in Gary's direction. He had that same sick look in his eye he had when he was violating Beth in WallyWhirled.

  I was in complete shock, and had a feeling of pure horror – I knew this was somehow my fault. Gary lifted the freak off his feet by his shirt and threw him back on the couch. Zach lifted himself to get up again, only to have his face met with Gary's fist. Good god. Violence. Horror show. I wondered how Gary could muster an animal act at a time like this. Just witnessing the show made me so uncomfortable I thought my whole world was ending, satan was exacting his revenge upon me. This was it I was sure. I would become a recluse. Never talk to anyone again. I am alone now, for sure.

  Daniel----Trip Commander----

  Well, lets see... james is a

  dumbass

  for one thing.

  He is always pushing everyone to their limit, so annoying.

  We used to sit around and he and Gary would say that, no matter what,

  they were not going to do robo to entertain themselves.

  They are

  dumb

  they knew very well what was going to happen.

  So I'd suggest it. And they'd blame me for a being the fuck.

  Now look at james, he's completely lost it, him and that douche bag, Zach.

  I mean, he's not chill at all. He's a total nerd and says the stupidest shit.

  Dumbass.

  He gets lucky with creative shit sometimes though – one time,

  he had me hold up my hands like I was holding a game controller

  and told me to control him across his living room and it felt like

  I was playing Mario as he hopped from the different pieces of furniture.

  Ha. Fun times. It was he and Gary who invented the pillow game.

  It’s where you take a pillow and hit the other person in the head as hard as you can.

  It doesn't hurt at all cuz you can't feel anything on robo... but it's a rush.

  But his ideas are going too far now, and are going get him into a lot of trouble.

  There was a time when the only time he did

  drugs was with me. That was kinda cool. I could always count

  on him to be down to get really fucked up. It was a drag when he

  and Gary would get into it over Kristal though. They should just

  leave that poor bitch alone. Yeah, she's pretty hot, but jesus, just

  drop it, fuckers. Apparently james got Kristal to fuck Gary over and

  get back with him. They talk about it all the time, I don't

  really know the exact details, and I don't care, but its made shit weird between all of us.

  james has been getting way too cocky about it.

  He fucked Kristal in my bed! I had a huge party at my house

  and he must have been celebrating about getting her back or something

  dumb

  like that, cuz he was chugging vodka out of the bottle

  like it was fucking water or something. He and Gary do that a lot.

  Dumbasses.

  He was blacked out before the party even started.

  Oh my god he so fucking annoying.

  He staggered around, well more like crawled around, mumbling shit.

  He kept whipping his dick out and shit.

  Then some bitch had the great idea to bong the rest of the vodka and had james do it.

  What a

  dumb

  bitch! Fuckin' retarded.

  Well anyway, he got like ten times more annoying than before

  and Gary got PISSED. I mean he was screaming at james,

  and Gary gets crazy when he's mad. Especially when he's drunk.

  He started punching james in the head and all james did was laugh.

  That pissed him off even more.

  It was so fucking funny.

  james just squirmed around, making stupid noises like a dying animal.

  Then Gary kicked him really hard in the side and james shat himself.

  It was fucking disgusting and got everywhere, so I

  dragged him out into the garage and told him to shut the fuck up.

  Anyway, the next morning he fucked Kristal in my bed and insisted he didn't.

  He lies and manipulates. I don't trust him at all.

  The funniest thing about it is, he thinks he's better

  than us, just cuz he never did drugs before 6 months ago.

  That's right, this kid was straight-edge. He looked like a pothead, which is weird.

  But he had never done ANYTHING before I met him.

  I'm pretty well known for smoking pot,

  so why would he all of the sudden be my friend if he didn't smoke?

  Whatever, I don't give a fuck about

  him, he's just a

  dumb

  kid I introduced to Robotussin.

  He is awkward on robo.

  It's kinda interesting though. He does this crazy dance

  that is pretty entertaining and says the craziest shit.

  But overall he's just really fucked up in the head.

  ...I should call him up and see what he’s up to.

  Maybe he would want to robo with me.

  We can sit and relax and watch

  the visualizer on my new

  flat screen TV set.

  Hope he doesn't

  want to go

  out doors,

  because

  that is

  dumb

  just

  dum

  b.

  Chapter 6

  Becoming Leader

  Of the Known Universe

  And Accused of Murder

  THE END OF THE SIDEWALK...

  Gary suggested that Dane take Zach and I to my house. I offered to host a spectacular time for everyone, but they all declined the notion of going anywhere my sexually confused friend was going. We were escorted out of the apartment and into Dane's car. I was warned that if Zach couldn't control himself that we were going to have to walk. I assured them he would be a good boy. Why I didn't tell Zach to just find a way to his house himself, I don't know. I felt responsible for him, like he was a stupid dog that I'd accidentally infected with AIDS or something. I pondered this the entire way to my house – especially why in hell I would come up with an analogy like that – and keeping a close watch on Zach. When he so much as twitched an eyebrow, I scolded him fo
r being such a bastard. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know what or why this creature with aviator sunglasses was barking at him.

  Dane dropped us off and spun the car into reverse without so much as a grunt in farewell. Jesus, I realized only then I would have to deal with this creature alone. We got inside the house, and I screamed at it – the creature that was once Zach. I told him to sit in my recliner and not to move. He did so and I sat facing him at my computer desk. I asked him if he was going to be good for the rest of the night, to which he had no response. He didn't utter one word, just stared at me. I saw his tongue pop out of his mouth – I wished I had a gun – and lick his lips seductively. GOOD GOD, HE'S COMPLETELY LOST IT THIS TIME! I was certain my anal virginity was doomed.

  “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR GODDAMN PROBLEM?!” I screamed, “HAVE YOU COMPLETLEY LOST IT, YOU FUCKING FREAK?”

  “...”

  He lifted himself out of his seat and stretched himself out in my direction. He angled himself right above me, moving down. I shoved my hands in the air and hid my face, then shot my body up with enough force to knock him back into the chair. I continued bellowing. I ordered him to report to the toilet to await further instructions from High Command. He walked down the hall but instead of going to the right, into the bathroom, he went left into my bedroom. I ran to the door to see him sprawled out on my bed. I grabbed one of his legs and dragged him to the floor. He got up and chased me down the hall where I had to once again defend to avoid rape.